Elizabeth's amused to hear from Hayley that Bert's feeling creatively stifled as a room steward. Later Bert manages to persuade Nigel to give him a trial as a tour guide. Nigel's excited to get an email from Cousin Lucille about Uncle Rupert. It turns out that Rupert led a carbon-neutral lifestyle in a cottage at Lower Loxley - so Nigel thinks he was years ahead of his time. At a meeting in St Stephen's grounds about the churchyard, Lynda's miffed when Bert and Shula seem more interested in Shula's picnic than paying Lynda any attention. And Bert's very put out when he offers his services as a guide for the churchyard open day, now he's a 'professional'. Lynda retorts that if anyone does it, it should be her. Lynda's worried about her last maypole dancing rehearsal before the performance on the village green tomorrow; the spirit of teamwork seems to be lacking in the Loxley Barratt children - she blames reality TV. Lynda's maypole dancing practice is a disaster until, on Hayley's advice, Lynda's forced to bribery. She tells the overwrought children they're allowed a sweet each if they behave and do the dance properly. Episode written by Simon Frith.