Spoof reminiscences of a former variety star. Count Arthur Strong is an expert in everything from the world of entertainment to the origins of the species, all false starts and nervous fumbling, poorly concealed by a delicate sheen of bravado and self-assurance. It's an early start for Arthur as he sets off on a day trip to France with his old friends Wilf, Sally and Geoffrey. Having brushed up on his French the night before, Arthur shows them all just how to communicate in a foreign tongue. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be many French people about to converse with. Still, there's always the wine! With Steve Delaney, Mel Giedroyc, Dave Mounfield and Alastair Kerr. A Komedia Entertainment/Smooth Operations production for BBC Radio 4.