Simon Doonan, now living in New York, remembers his extraordinary childhood growing up in Reading during the 90s, where glamour was in short supply and his extended family were far from the beautiful people he and his best friend Kyle, known as Kylie, longed to move amongst. He recounts the time when auditioning for the school play led to his mother being arrested for assault, and the re-enactment of a famous horror film, which can only mean showtunes and gypsy skirts.