Start the week with a hoot with The Dark Lord himself. Expect more unconventional chat and general oddness that won't fail to kickstart your day. In Living the Lie there are some hilarious stories of people trapped by their own little white lies; find out what happened to the chap who wooed a budding singer by saying he was mates with Peter Waterman. There's also the One More Encore Tour; tour names that suit the artist. Join the Rolling Stones on their Wheelchairs of Steel World Tour, and Status Quo's Rocking All Over the Ward Tour. There's tracks from Steve Forbert and Scott McKeon from Lester's Library, and a rare track from Hugh Cornwell and Robert Williams suggested by you from the Listener's Library. Our new Album of the Week comes from Boyzone and Whitney Houston has this week's Record of the Week. Tim Turvey provides this week's Pause for Thought. And, he has finally conquered the electric light bulb, now onwards Alex marches to understand modern technology as he opens a Twitter account. Listen in for some top tips and advice on how you too can get connected. Throughout March, Radio 2's Get Connected campaign is endeavouring to help you get online - if you're not already - and to understand technology better. If you're not online but would like to be, then phone the BBC Advice Line on 08000 150 950. Lines are open from 8am - 10pm, 7 days a week. Calls are free from a BT landline but mobile phone charges may vary. You can speak to advisors who will be able to give you details of centres and courses in your area where you can learn how to get online and use the internet. If you are already connected to the internet, why not go to our website bbc.co.uk/radio2 and try something new for the first time; whether it's downloading a podcast, commenting on a blog, or listening back on the BBC iPlayer to a radio programme you've missed. If you don't know how to do these things, read the guides on our website bbc.co.uk/radio2.